Don’t become an open book to friends, read between the lines!

According to the National Institute of Health (NIH), betrayal is “the sense of being harmed by the intentional actions or omissions of a trusted person”. Those close to you may share information about your personal life to others, cheat on you, lie to you, or spread rumors about you.

Betrayal stings, and it is so painful it can literally change your whole outlook on life. Betrayal can be so traumatic, and cause you so much distress that you may wish to cut all ties with others. Betrayal leads to shock, anger, loss, grief etc.

We can all agree that one way or another, we have been betrayed by a family member or a friend we considered so dear to us. The day my best friend of 18 years decided to part from me, I was in shock, but I must say I was not surprised.

You know when you get so close to people to the point where they know the most intimate details about your life, things become risky because they have enough to use against you. You were at one point vulnerable so you trusted them and believed that they will preserve your dignity and your trust only to discover that they did not have your best interest at heart.

Now, there are many reasons why people enter friendships. Some are friends with you because of what you do for them, some because you make them feel better about themselves, others because they genuinely care and some are just lonely. Over time, situations in life cause people to change their ways.

A friend of 20 years may hurt you now but it is not to say that they never cared for you. It could simply be that the friend now may feel jealous of you for your career, marriage, status, or simply can’t stand to see you happy.

Maya Angelou once said, “If people show you who they are, believe them the first time”. There is a tendency to want to mentally rewrite an experience, and give the benefit of a doubt to those who blatantly hurt you. It may be because you do not wish to lose them in your life or you are just comfortable in this relationship and have accepted the mistreatment as normal.

Whatever it is, you end up focusing on how long you have been friends with this person and can’t seem to accept that they actually did what you caught them doing. You are free to address the situation with them to hear their side of the story, but the key is to be observant and ensure that this person is not disingenuous.

Don’t be so caught in preserving the friendship that you refuse to read between the lines! Best friends have stolen husbands in the past. WHY? Because maybe you share how awesome your husband or how caring he is towards you so now you have given her something to envy.

Jealousy is wanting something that does not belong to you, thinking you deserve it. You may share a dream with a friend who is so jealous she discourages you. Read between the lines! There are friends who feel they deserve better than you. No, they won’t say it but they will act like it. So listen carefully to their response when sharing your personal life! BEWARE!

Don’t become an open book to friends! Not every friend is disloyal and jealous, but when you have a jealous friend that you are loyal to, you need to check yourself and start taking care of you before they lead you to the point of insanity.