Six red flags to look out for in your relationship

Ama Nunoo Ama Nunoo | Editor October 30, 2019

Photo: Best life online

Everyone deserves the best partner in their love life, but some are so hung on the notion of having partners so much that they become ‘love blind.’

They don’t seem to notice all the red flags that manifest in their relationship, from the glaring to the subtle ones. The obvious form of abuse is the physical one; whenever your partner becomes physical, let him or her go. No one should be in an abusive relationship.

The other form which sneaks up on you is the emotional abuse which can manifest in various forms. One would have to be on guard before they realize they are being taken for granted in their relationship. Experts say, learn to trust what you feel. Your hunch is probably right.

Abigail Brenner, MD, a psychiatrist and Fellow of the American Psychiatric Association recently threw light on red flags in Psychology Today. She said, “a red flag is a good intuitive image to help you process what you’re really feeling.”

Red flags do not have a specific time they creep up in any relationship, but most people become more aware of them when the relationship has ended.

Brenner added, “At the end of a difficult relationship, people often say, ‘He (or she) told me who he (or she) was at the very beginning, but I just didn’t listen.'”

Not to say that do not enjoy your relationship, but you should look out for red flags like these to make an informed decision about your relationship.

1. Your partner puts a lot of their business on social media

You are at liberty to share your private life on social media but when you feel the need to share every nitty-gritty detail about your life, you will have a hard time respecting boundary in a relationship.

According to Eric D. Capehart, Sr., MBA, MA, “this one is a red flag in relationships because boundaries can be easily crossed which can generally lead to a misunderstanding.” The likelihood of them putting all your personal business out there without your consent is very high. This may not be what you signed up for. Be sure to set clear boundaries early on in your relationship.

2. Your partner is too clingy

People tend to enjoy the new and added attention they receive from their partners, especially in a new relationship. This is a red flag that can easily be overlooked, and you might not realise he or she is building their whole lives around you.

This puts unnecessary pressure on the other partner because you will literally have to stop living your own life to be that centerpiece in the other person’s life. It stifles personal growth and causes a strain on your relationship with others around you.

3. Significant family and friends don’t like your partner

Your family and other important people in your life usually have your best interests at heart. There are certain behaviors or traits about your partner that you may not notice but the more your partner is exposed to your family, the more these traits come to their attention.

They may realize something “off” about your partner, probably an obvious trait. Take a step back and see things from their perspective; they may be saving you from a great deal of trouble in the near future.

4. Your partner says all their exes are crazy

A light bulb must light up when your significant other keeps describing their exes as terrible people and easily blame them for how things ended in their previous relationship. You should be more vigilant because truth is, they are the common denominator in all the failed relationships.

“It practically shouts: ‘I cannot take any responsibility for whatever went wrong. I have not learned anything from these relationships. It is totally up to you to make our relationship work.’” This is a red flag that lets you know you are dealing with someone who loves and attracts drama.

5. They refuse to make your relationship public

No one is asking your partner to make a paid advertisement on social media to announce your relationship. But if they flat out want all your dates to be indoors and always at your end, not theirs, then that is a red flag. They might be dating two or more people at a time. It is okay to do so when both parties agree to such terms. If you went in for a closed relationship, then this is the time to ask questions or walk out.

6. Your partner exhibits abusive behavior

Though coming last, this is certainly the most important red flag you need to be wary of. If your partner is physically, emotionally, verbally, or psychologically abusive, there should be no second thoughts; leave immediately! Abusive people cannot be changed, and they have the tendency of making you feel the abuse is from a place of love.

Leave and do not look back and don’t make up excuses for them because you might end up ruining your life in a bid to change them.