African women are reared to be loving, kind, responsive, and to cater to everyone’s needs – their parents, elders, spouses, children, friends and the list goes on and on. This is all good and well, however, what happens to your needs? It often goes on the backburner. Being selfless is the name of the game but putting yourself aside on a constant basis is a recipe for trouble.
I’m all for assisting others as often and as best as possible. The conundrum with this is, there is a sense of guilt that comes with having passionate desires. Unique ideas are often shushed for the sake of culture and tradition. It is not the keeping of culture that is the issue, rather it is the slow death of the individual.
One case in point is relationships. While I don’t think a woman should be desperate for a partner, I do believe that she should be confident enough to state what she desires out of a union on a short-term or long-term basis. Plainly, she should vocalize if she’s interested in a man, whether she wants a no-strings-attached arrangement or a solid commitment. I’m not with playing games, hiding emotions, and being coy. If you want something, ask for it. If you’re not willing to accept the terms, keep it pushing.
Additionally, it’s deeply troubling the number of Black women who feel that sharing a man is better than having no man. Knowing that your mate is cheating and being encouraged to “give your husband condoms” to lessen the chance of catching an STI is preposterous- this was actual advice from one woman to another in case you’re wondering. Sigh.
Secondly, I believe it’s extremely imperative to live out your dreams without fear of what others think. African women are constantly basing life decisions on “what would he or she say?” Who cares? Will they be the one to live with the consequences of not accomplishing your goals, or will you? Be clear and live your life on your terms. Yes, you will get backlash for deciding to become a dancer instead of an engineer. Yes, you will be doubted nonetheless, will you let that stop you?
Life is meant to be LIVED. Unapologetically, passionately, and wholeheartedly. It’s not an easy feat to be outspoken because many simply don’t like hearing or seeing the truth. Others are so downtrodden and so pessimistic that the sight of anyone else having enough gall to live an unconventional existence reminds them of how far off the Richter scale they’re living. So, do yourself a favor and BE.
Pacers star Tyrese Haliburton has said that his little brother was subjected to racial abuse,…
Reggie Bush has regained his place as the 2005 Heisman Trophy winner after over a…
Since 2012, actor Nick Cannon has openly shared his struggle with lupus to support others…
Former USC superstar Caleb Williams has been drafted by the Chicago Bears as the No.…
Stephen A. Smith is an ESPN analyst. People widely regard him as the face of…
Lil Durk is an American rapper and one of the most influential voices in the…
In 2022, Kevin Hart added a new title to his impressive resume: a tequila entrepreneur.…
AEW's latest pay-per-view, Dynasty 2024 on Sunday night saw Swerve Strickland defeat Samoa Joe to…
Renowned civil rights activist Opal Lee, known as the "Grandmother of Juneteenth," will be awarded…
Violet Horne lost her two sons to gun violence within the space of a month.…
An Ohio man said a K-9 bit him seven times after he was pulled over…
Three male foreign tourists who were spotted posing naked in a popular dune in Namibia…
Will.i.am is partnering with other prominent figures to revolutionize the digital media scene by forming…
Sabelle Beraki's childhood was inundated with the lack of representation when it came to a…
Benjamin Harvey is the founder of AI Squared, a third-party software company that helps organizations…