Poem: Confession of a Dying Girl

She met her neighbour that night and was crying and told her the whole story of how she mistakenly had unprotected sex with a guy, but she didn’t disclose his identity. Unfortunately, her neighbour was just as young and naïve and didn’t know what to say, but she later narrated the story to me and asked what she could tell her. I quickly encouraged her to tell her parents, seek help, and open up, even though she was from a strict home where mistakes weren’t tolerated. One month later, I heard she died as she was trying to abort. Although I didn’t know her personally, I was touched, knowing that many young girls may be struggling with similar cases. Guarding their secrets and living in fear of getting exposed, they die in silence. To those kind of girls, protect your heart, don’t fall cheaply, be gentle as a dove, wise as a serpent, and bold as a lion. You’re our future mothers, we believe in you and we expect so much from you.

We started off as friends, hung out few times…
He often walked me home and gave me gifts sometimes…
He was so sweet, matured, caring, and gave me all I asked for…
And as I was beginning to trust him, he started asking for more…
At that point I was vulnerable, I was already in to him…
But that was his game plan, and I was already in…
Dinner at his place, it all started simple…

Prearranged atmosphere, soft rock love songs, and red candles…
The red wine made me a little tipsy, feeling drowsy I slept off…
Woke me up by past 10 on his bed with my clothes off…
You have to leave now, he said with a harsh tone…
I hurriedly wore my clothes, had to quickly run home…
I knew we had sex, just didn’t remember how it started…
I felt ashamed because it seemed like that was all he wanted…
He never returned my calls, avoided me for weeks…
Two months passed, I began to feel sick…
Discovered I was pregnant, I felt devastated…

At first he denied it…
Later he threatened to kill me if I told anyone about it…
What happened to that sweet, caring guy who I thought loved me…
Feeling scared, I couldn’t open up to anyone, my family would likely disown me…
It was getting to the 3rd month as my mum began to notice…
She asked but I denied it and finally decided to abort it…
On my way to the abortion clinic, I wasn’t sure whether it was worthwhile…
Felt like I should own up and bear the shame for a little while…

On second thought, I didn’t want to bear a baby without a Father…
So confused and really restless, I finally decided to go further…
It went wrong, totally wrong, as I was bleeding to death…
Doctor couldn’t handle it, he contacted my parents as I was losing my breath…
I would have opened up, I would have braced myself…
I wouldn’t have given him the chance, now I’m full of regrets…

Slowly I could hear my heart slowly counting beats…
Faintly seeing my parents rushing in….

_____________________________

At 3:37 a.m., she passed, lost a lot of blood…
Lying lifeless, her story wasn’t completely told…
He absconded, no one actually knew who he was…
Nothing could make up for that great loss…

Timidity, insecurity, immaturity, and low esteem…
Drove her to thinking she was worthless without him…
She made a mistake, and it was too late before she realized…

He took advantage of her naivety, and she was victimized…
She had a future ahead of her, could have deleted her past, and moved on…

Fear is unnecessary torment, open-up, get help, and go on…
With so much life to live, and so much to be achieved…
It’s sad, she died at only 17.

Based on a true life story.