Superstar athlete Serena Williams has many black women cheering in her corner for more reasons than her prowess on the tennis court. Williams has been refreshingly candid about her experiences giving birth to her daughter, Alexis Olympia Ohanian.
Firstly, Williams had to undergo a Cesarean or C-section due to early contractions and the baby’s vital signals dropping all the while. Next, she developed blood clots which can potentially travel to vital organs such as the heart and lungs. Finally, Williams had two surgeries to remove the clots from her body. An imperative point to make here also is Williams had to demand a CT-scan before medical personnel heard her cries of pain.
Unfortunately, Kira Johnson didn’t receive medical intervention in time. Her husband, Charles Johnson, noticed her catheter was turning pink. A CT-scan was ordered but never administered. By the time Johnson was admitted for surgery, she had three and a half litres of blood in her abdomen. She died after her heart stopped.
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According to the CDC, 700 women in the United States die during childbirth. 40 deaths per 100,000 live births occur for black men, far greater than their white counterparts.
Frankly, giving birth in a public hospital in Africa is a sub-par experience at best. Lack of access to qualified birthing personnel, delay in going to a medical facility, insufficient space at hospitals and unaffordability of health services are all contributing factors to the one death for every 22 births statistic.
One great example is the use of traditional healers versus modern physicians when giving birth. Some women reach out to locals during this pivotal time and some believe it is a taboo to seek the assistance of an obstetrician.
Oluyomi Ojo of Lagos, Nigeria, now knows the pain of childbirth. He explains on Twitter how his wife was in labor for 7.5 hours and he reveals his new found respect for her in his posts and his epiphany.
As a father who stayed in the labour room for 7.5hrs before our son decided to come. It’s not a joke, it’s not easy and to be very honest. Men should not chook mouth in this matter.
We have no right to say a word.
A thread…
— Oluyomi Ojo (@OluyomiOjo) August 8, 2018
Three things happened to me after that experience.
1. The respect I had for my wife grew by eons and then I feared her.
2. I respected my mum. (Like how can you do this 5 times without access to today’s medical tech like epidural &co
3. My started respecting women more.
— Oluyomi Ojo (@OluyomiOjo) August 8, 2018
No woman goes into labour and comes back the the same. Forget epidural and all those things. The 9 months of that pregnancy alone changes a woman’s body completely. (Let’s not mention psychological changes).
— Oluyomi Ojo (@OluyomiOjo) August 8, 2018
I’ve seen women lose their sight after childbirth, or stiffness in certain parts of the body because childbirth. Guys, this things are real. When women share their experiences, we have no right to gag them. If you can’t empathize, shooooosh.
— Oluyomi Ojo (@OluyomiOjo) August 8, 2018
If you feel woman should not talk. I think it’s either because you don’t know how deep this things is, you’ve not had a child, or you were not actually involved in the process.
— Oluyomi Ojo (@OluyomiOjo) August 8, 2018
Few tips to help you.
1. Google is a great friend.
2. From the day your wife tells you are going to be a father. Get these apps: Baby Centre and WhatToExpect. Client a husband account, add conception date and read the daily updates. You’d see what your wife’s body suffers.— Oluyomi Ojo (@OluyomiOjo) August 8, 2018
This in many ways will also help you empathize with your pregnant employees and colleagues. Or any pregnant woman you run into. Carrying a baby and delivering one is not beans. If you are man, you are either on the women’s side or you should just close your mouth.
— Oluyomi Ojo (@OluyomiOjo) August 8, 2018
And remember… Childbirth in Nigeria is a lot more dangerous than anywhere else in the world that I know. Na by chance. Getting oxygen/blood na story. Women are being asked to push with low contractions hospitals don’t to measure. It’s not right for a women to push for hours.
— Oluyomi Ojo (@OluyomiOjo) August 8, 2018
When women talk about childbirth and the issues it brings. Dear men, if we don’t have anything good to say to support and encourage them or at let them know we feel their pains (which we can’t actually feel because we are not in their bodies). Let’s just Waka pass.
— Oluyomi Ojo (@OluyomiOjo) August 8, 2018
See the responses his thoughts garnered on Twitter:
I have realised it’s usually young men who have not married that usually say ignorant things like that when women’s pain are being discussed. Men who have seen their wives gone through it, have a whole new perspective.
— Seun Olarewaju (@iAmMrsHafsatO) August 8, 2018
Let’s not even make it a debate. God is a woman. https://t.co/DLFG54ezm7
— Frank Maina (@iamfrankmaina) August 8, 2018
Also the recovery process is another thing as well !!! And the least we can do is shut up, say thank you and lend a hand any other thing is pushing it
— Babajide Duroshola (@Babajiide) August 8, 2018
What i personally find fascinating is that “Women work”. I mean…”who invented white collar job for women?”..Being a woman is a lot of freaking work in itself & a woman ought to be paid for just being a woman. My perspective changed when I became a father. E NOR EASY AT ALL.
— Ayodele (@FurtherMan) August 8, 2018
Sir, it’s not just the pain. If you take a wider perspective, you’ll see that what these women are talking about is not even the pain of labour. It’s the varied injuries to the body following delivery. If I understand what is being said, the pain is the least of the problems.
— Dr. Tolu (@Tbones65) August 8, 2018
True! Not just the pain and even beyond postpartum morbidity…the risk of death!
The maternal mortality rate in Nigeria is estimated to be 814/100,000 live births and we all know this is underestimated in real life.
I am morbidly scared of opening ‘shop’ again. ?— Olaleke Folaranmi (@DrGeeONE) August 9, 2018
Now don’t you just marvel at the fact dat exactly 1sec after all d pain and pushing and screaming, all she wants to see, hear, feel is her baby. Pain and trauma forgotten. Some even start plotting the next ?
— Becomingme (@Giginpearl) August 9, 2018
Stuck to my bed. I almost died and my unborn son was born 10 weeks early. I had to learn how to walk again, my muscles were atrophied after I had him; but I had to figure out a way to visit my son in the intensive care unit everyday for the next 60 days.
— Henrietta Nwomeh (@AnwuliHenrietta) August 8, 2018
