Throughout my senior year of high school, I battled with addiction to pornography and masturbation, and as much as I tried, I couldn’t stop. It became even more difficult as I had to keep up with the expectations of friends and family. It was my little secret, no one knew. I would stay up at night with porn DVDs, and in the morning, I would act like the world’s best child. I remember visiting the porn store and pretending to be sent by my uncle with a shaky voice and sweaty hands. I would throw out the cover and hide it inside my school uniform. It went on for more than four years until I found salvation, and now these words are real to me: ‘’…old things are passed away, behold all things are made new.”
I tried so hard but I couldn’t stop it…
Swinging back and forth, I just couldn’t drop it…
It darkened my reasoning, I couldn’t see clearly…
Forming a wall between me and all I held dearly…
I fought persistently I even broke my wrist…
But just when I began to overcome, comes the twist…
Adeolu walks in with latest publications…
At a glance, I lose my guard and it gets my attention…
Locked inside my room, pretending not to be available…
If caught, I’ll lose respect and that would be disgraceful…
DVDs piled up from one episode to another…
Anal, Oral, Pirates, Nurses, High School, College, and so many others…
It seemed like I spent half of my allowances on these little foxes…
Arranged under my bed were piles of Playboy magazines packed in several boxes…
And so I struggled through seasons, sections, and semesters…
How could I open up seeing that I’m a fellowship minister…
Who would understand, wouldn’t I be condemned…
Stripped of my position and possibly damned…
My G.P. dropped, I couldn’t focus on a task…
But I appeared fine, I guess I was the man behind the mask…
And then on the 14th of February 2008…
I had a Love encounter, an encounter with a friend…
From that moment, my life began to amend…
He shifted my attention from what I was doing to what He had done…
From the place of being enslaved to being a son…
Gradually and rapidly, I noticed a difference…
Those DVD Packs were no longer on my scale of preference…
He cleaned up my room and packed it all in one box…
We made a deal, and I exchanged it for a wooden cross…
It had nothing to do with my status, opinion, or position..
It had everything to do with me becoming a new creation…
Four years of struggle, fearing that I will soon be severely punished…
With scars, lashes, and bruises, He totally abolished…
Precepts upon precepts, with a mind renewal tool, I was being refurbished…
Settling it totally with these three words: ‘‘It is finished.”
