Who doesn’t have secrets? Will you share your secrets with someone you are about to get married to? Some people say you shouldn’t, but what if he finds out much later? How much you share is really up to you, but if what you hold back has the potential to turn your marriage upside down, then it’s fair for the other party to be aware. Equally important, pay attention to how much your spouse or intended shares or doesn’t share. If your spouse avoids questions while you’re dating or constantly changes the topic and plays down serious issues affecting your values, it’s a red flag. Or what will you do when you later find out you’re the second wife?
Every marriage has got a purpose and you must discover, define and fulfill that purpose. After twenty years of marriage, you’ve raised the kids, paid school fees, bought a house or two, a number of cars, travelled around the world, so what next? If that’s all, then marriage isn’t worth it. Use your strengths as a couple to be a blessing to those around you. It doesn’t necessarily have to be a business. Look for a need in the community or even in another country with a problem that you want to solve together. You’ll be glad you met each other for this sole purpose of pursuing your common passion.
The success of your relationship depends on you. It should really be a joint effort for the best results, but at some point one of you won’t be interested in the relationship. One of you will stop putting in the requisite effort to keep the relationship blooming. It’s easy to point fingers and blame the other party, but if you will keep being yourself and doing all you know best even when you’re neither appreciated nor applauded, there will be a way through the knotty issues in your marriage.