According to psychologist Robert Sternberg, love is made up of three components: “intimacy, passion, and commitment”. Intimacy describes how close you are to your partner. Passion portrays romantic and sexual aspects of the relationship, and commitment is the level of trust and dedication someone has in a relationship.
In this day and age where technology has made virtual dating possible, people can sit in the comfort of their own home and enjoy the fun and excitement associated with the feeling of lust and love.
If you are in your late 20s or 30s and single, it is safe to say you’ve had your fair share of dating woes. First dates bring such excitement to those who are looking for stable relationships and ultimately marriage. However, the pursuit of love can be such a daunting task due to the lack of intimacy, passion and commitment in today’s relationships.
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In 2019, save yourself the heartaches and headaches and date with logic. There is a propensity to think that “love is blind” as if you fall in love with anyone without having the control to stop it! Well, if you have been moving from relationship to relationship without any concrete plans as to what you will do differently; then, it is time for you to take a break, reflect, and reassess your whole situation!
When a relationship ends, or even while you are in the relationship, it is important to deploy logic to see if all 3 components exist within that relationship and if they don’t, it may be time to call it quits.
Here are the relationships to avoid in 2019.
“Warm body seekers” seekers:
You know there are those who want a warm body, especially during the winter months. The relationship is so convenient you don’t have to step outside to even be seen together so those relationships can go on for months and get “complicated” as soon as the summer comes around and you want a “boo” or “bae” to chill at the beach with.
“I am not ready for marriage” men:
Mr. exactly what are you waiting for to be ready? It is true that a man is not ready for marriage when he is not financially stable and does not feel like he can take care of you or the home. However, my policy is if you are not ready, then just stay single. Your job as a woman is not to keep him company, and wait around until he makes up his mind!
Men who just refuse to let someone else have you:
I don’t even know what to call them, because that is how confused they are. They just want you there, when you try to leave, they make you feel bad, when you stay they don’t appreciate you. Umm, 2019 is everything but the year of confusion. Sis, walk on out while he figures it all out!
Abuse can be emotional, physical, financial and psychological. DO NOT allow yourself to be mistreated by a man you are dating. Abusive men do not change, unless they acknowledge a problem as their own. Abuse is not a temper or anger management issue. Abuse is someone saying I want you to do what I want when I want it and that is all.
Experience has taught me that when you love yourself, you do right by you. Staying in a toxic, confused, unhealthy, “complicated” and just dead-end relationships takes a real toll on your psyche, and your overall health! Sis, be good to yourself in 2019! I can’t stress that enough.
Release these boys who don’t feel a need to commit because you have become a maid, a lover, a chef, a laundromat, all for the sake of securing their love. It just ain’t worth it! Remember this, a man knows how to go after what he wants, he doesn’t need your help to make up his mind.