Poem: Dear Daughter [Letter to My Unborn]

Victhur Ihuka April 06, 2015

Father and daughter

Dearest Daughter:

I see you’re growing into a fine young woman. I’m
sure by now you’ve realized how crazy a world we
live in. I just have a little advice for you about love
and life. 

The passion in your heart and lips are only a
fraction of your power. Do not be afraid to cause
fires wherever you go.

The world attaches too many labels, technicalities, and
expectations to love, but baby, never forget every
story has its own journey. Let yours find its own

Someday, my dear, a young man will cross your path.
He will be like no other you have ever met. He will
make promises and pledge allegiances. He could
even promise you the world. But before he comes
along, here’s a list of little things you should look out

First, your partner is also your guide. If your
evolution doesn’t benefit him, you’re better off single.
It is better to be single than to be with someone you
can’t raise your consciousness with.

If he makes you happy, date him. Marry him only if
he makes you laugh deeply and uncontrollably. It
takes a deep connection to make someone laugh with
their mind and soul too.

When he sees you hurting and gives you a moment to
feel the claws of that pain imprinted in your
consciousness, date him. Marry him only if he can
find a way to make you smile even through your

The world we live in is a very cruel place. You will be
put through pain a lot of times. Make sure he is
someone who makes it all bearable.

Humor is an excellent gauge of intelligence. Life gets
boring at times. Make sure he makes the journey

He can be a bad boy but make sure he’s a good man —
just like dad.

Before you say yes to him, get him riled. See him
scared, wanting. See what he looks like when he’s sick.
Stress changes a person.

Find out if he drinks, and if he does, get him drunk. In
doing so, you’ll learn so much about his sober

Discover his addictions. Everyone has one.

Daddy has

Find out if he puts you in front of them. Always
remember you can’t change people. If they’re made a
certain way, it doesn’t just wear off.

If you resent the way he acts now, you’re
going to hate it much worse five years down the lane.

You might love him to the moon, but that doesn’t
change the fact that some people just don’t fit.

Be sure he has scars at the back of his hands. It’s a
good sign he has experience either fighting or
making things — creation is an act of selflessness and
bruised knuckles are a good sign he knows how to
defend himself.

You have too much soul in you to be with someone
who has never been passionate.

Even if he has never thrown a punch all his life, let
him at least have tasted the insanity of bringing an
idea into existence.

Rough palms are better than soft ones. Calluses are
evidence he has lived, that he has broken skin and
been in pain over and over and over again and still
came back to the source of it.

Dearest daughter, trust your instincts. If he ever
makes you feel unsafe in anyway, don’t make
excuses, just get up and leave. That’s all there is to it.
It’s better to be safe than sorry, remember?

Last Edited by:Abena Agyeman-Fisher Updated: March 25, 2016


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