Soljana is 10 years old and has cerebral palsy in Malawi with his family
When she comes, she announces her arrival with a shrill cry. The pain subsides, the cord is clamped and ligated, and a life begins.
The eye openings, the clenched fists, and the smiles are all magical.
When she mutters, “Mama,” the pride in me swells up like Victoria lake after the rains. When she makes her first steps, I know motherhood has just began.
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The kitchen is locked, the water basins drained, the coins are discarded, the knives are secured, the drawers are shut.
Voices are to be raised, eyes to be opened wider, ears to be kept open.
For the rest of motherhood, I will encourage my little me to walk and not to walk — yes, sometimes not walking is better.
The joy of a Mother when the child walks, when the child says, “Mama” — then we know we are grown.
But sometimes the milestones are never achieved: some never walk and a smile appears and then fades…the regression of milestones.
The neighbor keeps wondering why the child never walks and why the child never talks.
They never know his shoes lie at home unused and his brothers have given up: they never sing those songs to encourage him to get up, they never walk him around, they don’t mention him as part of the family.
His father has consulted the Christians and the traditionalists, the gods and the God, but nay, he still cannot walk nor talk.
The Mother wonders whether she should quit her job, But how do we feed the others?
God help us.
Now a little boy and he has never learned to use the potty,
He knows not who his mother is,
He doesn’t even know his name,
He knows almost nothing outside his home, because he has not been away from home,
Sometimes the saliva drools out of his mouth….
When will he wear his first birthday present?
He is growing fast.
What happens when his mother is no longer there?
Who shall take him out to the sun? Who shall change his pampers? Who will feed him?
The lives of two people spoil when a child is found to have cerebral palsy: the mother and the child.
A child with cerebral palsy is a special child, a child who will never achieve the normal milestones or who has regression of milestones. They don’t walk when they should, they do not talk at the expected time, they do not grow as normal children.
They may be mentally retarded, may have convulsive disorders, learning disabilities, and hyperactivity, among other disorders.
They are going to need their mothers for so long, they will need to be fed even after they are grown they will need to be bathed even after they have had their foreskin removed.
Women: When you go to deliver, remember that when it comes to the pushing, you will need to give it all that you have got. Push so your child does not become asphyxiated. Remember to deliver in the hospital in order to minimize birth trauma, especially to the head, as it causes brain damage that may lead to asphyxiation.
When your children become sick, do not hesitate to seek for professional help. Quit trying to use herbs first; instead, seek help asap.
Ensure you get treated for any illness during your pregnancy.
If you are a parent whose child has cerebral palsy, remember it is not your fault. Be the best Daddy you can be to that divine life. Join a club for parents with children like that, and always make sure your child attends the regular clinics. He needs an education, so enroll him in a special school. Learn physiotherapy, and become your child’s physiotherapist. Quit pitying yourself, quit playing the victim, and do not ask yourself, “Why me,” because in life there are so many unanswered questions.
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