For much of the 20th century, marriage marked adulthood for men, with most married by age 30 and often already starting families. In the 1970s, more than eight in ten men in countries like the United Kingdom were married. Today, among men born around 1990, fewer than one in four were married by age 30.
Similarly, U.S. Census data shows the average age of first marriage for men has risen from 25 in 1980 to 30 today, and for women from 22 to 28.
This generational shift is often overlooked but is one of the most important social changes of modern times. It reflects global developments, evolving cultural norms, and the challenges faced by young adults.
Some factors contributing to this generational change are detailed below.
Financial Independence
A Pew Research Center study finds that adults aged 21 today are less likely than their counterparts four decades ago to have achieved key adulthood benchmarks: securing a full-time job, financial independence, living independently, getting married, and having a child. By age 25, however, young adults are closer to their 1980 peers in employment and financial independence.
Parents also emphasize financial stability over traditional family milestones. 88% of U.S. parents with children under 18 say financial independence and meaningful work are extremely or very important, far more than marriage or having children.
Personal Growth
Clinical psychotherapist Dr. Delverlon Hall told Brides.com, “Years ago, couples married to construct a life together. Now, they assemble their life first.” Dating expert Megan Weks added that younger generations prioritize individual goals, focusing on personal growth before committing to marriage.
“People are functioning for the benefit and satisfaction of the self and the ideal of freedom,” Hall explains. Millennials and Gen Z are delaying marriage to build confidence, self-esteem, and a clearer sense of identity.
Also, as our understanding of relationships evolves, the motivation for coupling is shifting from a survival mechanism to the pursuit of a “soul connection.” People now choose to marry because they genuinely want to, not out of necessity.
Fear of Divorce
Additionally, younger generations appear less enthusiastic about marriage, a trend largely driven by the high divorce rate among Baby Boomers. According to a Cosmopolitan article, this cautionary approach stems from the Boomers having the highest divorce rate of any living generation, which has led their children to approach marriage more cautiously and less frequently.
Education
The number of people pursuing higher education, particularly women, has grown significantly. College enrollment in the U.S. increased from 12 million in 1980 to 18.5 million in 2022, according to Statista. Additionally, the percentage of Americans with a bachelor’s degree has nearly doubled since 1980, rising from 23% to 40%. This greater emphasis on attending and graduating from university is also causing millennials and Gen Z to postpone starting a family until they are older.
Views on Premarital Sex and Cohabitation
Attitudes toward premarital sex and living together have changed dramatically. Before modern birth control, couples often married young to avoid premarital sex or unintended pregnancies. Today, sexual activity outside marriage is widely accepted, and cohabitation is common. Many couples live together to test compatibility or save money, reducing the urgency to marry legally.
Impacts of Delayed Marrying Ages
Despite the focus on personal growth and self-development, the rising average age of marriage is having several notable impacts.
Finding Themselves
Younger generations postpone marriage to focus on personal goals, believing financial and career stability builds confidence for finding a partner. This delay also cultivates emotional maturity and self-awareness, leading to better long-term relationships.
Declining Birth Rates
Declining birth rates are linked to women delaying marriage, according to the Institute for Family Studies. A contributing factor is that a woman’s fertility decreases with age. For those who still follow the traditional path of marriage before children, this reduces the time available for childbearing, although some younger generations are now having children outside of marriage.
Improved Divorce Rates
Millennials and Gen Z are divorcing less often than older generations, with a 35% divorce rate compared to 43%. A major reason is that they are postponing marriage. Research from the Institute for Family Studies indicates that getting married later, specifically around age 30, correlates with a lower divorce risk.
Marrying later is believed to foster greater personal maturity, which helps couples build successful marriages. Furthermore, the increasing openness to therapy means more couples are seeking professional help for marital issues, often preventing divorce.
The Economy Is Changing
The trend of people marrying later has varied economic consequences. College graduates who delay marriage see a slight improvement in their financial stability, but those without a formal education experience a negative impact on their income. Additionally, delaying marriage has not slowed down the rate of childbearing, leading to an increase in single-parent households. This rise negatively affects the financial well-being of both the parent and the child.
Conclusion
Declining early marriage is not a passing trend; it is a generational shift. Young adults are prioritizing personal growth, careers, and financial stability before committing to marriage. Marriage has not disappeared, but it no longer defines adulthood as it once did.
Older generations may hope to guide younger adults, but the new landscape shows that adulthood is no longer measured by a wedding ring—it is shaped by the freedom to define life on one’s own terms.
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