Categories: Lifestyle

Is Your Best Friend Ruining Your Relationship?

It’s not a rare occurrence to see three people hanging out — one of which, if you pay close attention, would be considered the third wheel. According to my guy friends, the correct terminology for this individual is “the cockblocker.”

I personally have no issue with being a third wheel (if I’m invited). I am also open to inviting friends to come hang with me and my guy, but it becomes a tricky situation when you feel the “tag along” friend is ruining your alone time.

Of course you don’t want to hurt your friend’s feelings, but you do need to address the situation if it bothers you or starts to ruin your relationship. Here are some tips on how to deal with this situation.

DON’T FEEL GUILTY- Think about it, you might have known your best friend since childhood. He or she should know you well enough to realize that you would do the same for them. But I will warn you if your relationships doesn’t last longer than a week. Your friend may have something to gripe about. What does that say about you if you're willing to treat someone you just met five minutes ago better than your best friend? It makes you look like a disloyal friend.

CREATE A CODE- Being friends with someone for a long time gives you the advantage of easy and effortless communication. As friends, you should come up with a secret code that lets the other friend know it’s time to go. My friend and I used this one  – feel free to borrow — We would use the guys last name in a sentence twice and that would be the clue that we needed some time alone.

MAKE SURE IT’S UNINTENTIONAL- It may be hard to believe, but some friends want you all to themselves. They may have grown accustomed to it just being you and them and now the new guy or gal is taking up all of your time. If you do discover that the blocking behavior is intentional confront your friend, let them know you will always be there for them, and make time to have solo bonding without the new boyfriend.

Sandra Appiah

Sandra Appiah is the Chief Operating Officer at Face2Face Africa. She graduated with honors (Summa Cum laude) from the Newhouse School of public communications (Syracuse University, NY) and spent a lot of time in the media industry working with companies such as the New York Times, HBO, and MTV. An avid believer in Africa with an interest in showcasing the glory of the continent, Ms. Appiah is also host of “The Sandra Appiah Show”, an inspirational talk show that chronicles the journeys of Africa’s movers & shakers. Sandra has been listed in Forbes 30 Under 30: Africa’s Best Young Entrepreneurs in 2013. With an incandescent passion matched only by her abundant ambition and prodigious talent, Ms. Appiah has been at the forefront of the mission for this generation of Africans to seize control of tools by which Africa's narrative is curated, crafted, and presented to the wider world.

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