During an appearance on The Jamie Kern Lima Show, Stephen ‘tWitch’ Boss’ widow, Allison Holker, said her late husband’s well-being took a nosedive after he tried ayahuasca, the South American psychoactive beverage.
Remembered as a DJ on the Ellen DeGeneres Show, Boss died on December 13, 2022. Boss, who also shot into the limelight after competing in So You Think You Can Dance, was found dead in a motel room that he had checked into.
The dancer’s death was ruled as suicide from a self-inflicted gunshot wound to the head. Holker said her late husband trying ayahuasca did not yield any positive results for him.
“I think it was a very big turning point for him,” Holker said, per Entertainment Weekly. “I feel like his heart was never really in the same place when he came back. He still could find joy, and he could still go day-by-day putting on his face and getting through the days, but there was something missing in his eyes.”
The So You Think You Can Dance alum added: “It just kind of feels like he opened something up to himself that he never healed. And never fully escaped.”
READ ALSO: Prominent Black people we sadly lost in 2022
Per Healthline, ayahuasca is a “type of brew made from ingredients with hallucinogenic properties. Though some claim that it can benefit brain health and well-being, it is also associated with several potential risks.”
Healthline also states that the drink “was used for spiritual and religious purposes by ancient Amazonian tribes and is still considered sacred by some religious communities in Brazil and North America, including the Santo Daime.”
The drink is illegal in the United States, but “certain groups have exemptions for ceremonial use.” “Those who take Ayahuasca can experience symptoms like vomiting, diarrhea, feelings of euphoria, strong visual and auditory hallucinations, mind-altering psychedelic effects, fear, and paranoia,” Healthline adds.
Holker in the interview stated that though she now has to be wary of how she decides to honor her late husband, she will “always celebrate Stephen.”
“I think he was a wonderful person and I’m really sad what he went through, but I also have to be careful because I can’t celebrate so much of his choice,” she stated. “And that’s a really fine line I have to walk as a mother right now is because [the kids] are very hurt by their father’s decision.”
Boss and Holker share three children. In the wake of his death, Holker said their kids “have a lot of triggers that they have to be in therapy now to really work through.”
“But what I am impressed with is that they are doing the work, and they are putting in the time, and they are finding joy in life, and they are finding laughter again,” she added. “But there’s a lot to unpack for them that they’ll have to deal with for the rest of their lives.”
