Love is a splendid thing as the saying goes. It can also tear your heart apart. We’ve all heard about or even experienced our own share of heartbreaks.
We can bounce back, however, there is a process to it. In a scenario posed by Sadiya Lawal and posted on Twitter by Jaruma Magazine, a young woman supposedly gets her happily ever after, then the unthinkable happens.
How would you react if you were faced with the same situation?
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What would you do? See below for more:
MY NAME IS SADIYA LAWAL. I AM 29 YEARS OLD. I AM FROM BAUCHI STATE. I WOULD LIKE TO SHARE MY DIVORCE DIARIES WITH YOU. #DivorceDiaries
— Jaruma Magazine (@jarumamagazine) March 16, 2018
For me, it was love at first and Hamisu was the one. #DivorceDiaries
— Jaruma Magazine (@jarumamagazine) March 16, 2018
I met my husband when I was a Corper. I was serving in Abuja at the time. It was a beautiful time in my life and I quickly fell in love with the tall handsome charming stranger I met at Dunes Centre. His name was Hamisu Mohammed. It was love at first sight. #DivorceDiaries
— Jaruma Magazine (@jarumamagazine) March 16, 2018
I was at the restaurant when he walked towards the aisles. Our eyes met for a moment and that was it. It felt like electricity and my heart was almost beating out of my chest when he smiled and started walking towards me. #DivorceDiaries
— Jaruma Magazine (@jarumamagazine) March 16, 2018
I tried to look away but his pull was too magnetic and I found myself smiling back at him. #DivorceDiaries
— Jaruma Magazine (@jarumamagazine) March 16, 2018
‘Hello lady, you look like you are having a good time’ he said and my heart stopped for a minute as all my senses concentrated on listening to him. #DivorceDiaries
— Jaruma Magazine (@jarumamagazine) March 16, 2018
I just kept smiling like a fool as he kept smiling back. I don’t even remember what my reply was. We ended up sitting down and talking for like 3 hours that day. The rest, as they say, is history. #DivorceDiaries
— Jaruma Magazine (@jarumamagazine) March 16, 2018
A year after that fateful meeting we got married. It was a most beautiful day that I will cherish forever. I was so in love with him, he was everything. #DivorceDiaries
— Jaruma Magazine (@jarumamagazine) March 16, 2018
As any typical northern girl, I excitedly prepared for my wedding night with a lot of gyaran jiki and Kayan Mata. #DivorceDiaries
— Jaruma Magazine (@jarumamagazine) March 16, 2018
The weeks before my wedding were filled with all sorts of skin treatments, consumption of aphrodisiacs and vaginal steaming all in anticipation of the big night. I looked forward to consummating our love on that special night. #DivorceDiaries
— Jaruma Magazine (@jarumamagazine) March 16, 2018
On that special night, when all the glitz and glam of the wedding was done, it was just the two of us. I was so nervous and excited but Hamisu did not look interested. We talked for a while and then he fell asleep. #DivorceDiaries
— Jaruma Magazine (@jarumamagazine) March 16, 2018
Yes! My husband fell asleep on our first night. I did not know what do, whether to wake him up or to allow him sleep. I couldn’t hold myself I had to wake him up. #DivorceDiaries
— Jaruma Magazine (@jarumamagazine) March 16, 2018
‘Honey, I don’t think we should be sleeping tonight. It is our first night, it is the Sunnah….’ #DivorceDiaries
— Jaruma Magazine (@jarumamagazine) March 16, 2018
He cut me off with a kiss and we made out for a while; then he told me he couldn’t do anything that night because he was so tired from the activities of the wedding. Fair enough… so we slept off. #DivorceDiaries
— Jaruma Magazine (@jarumamagazine) March 16, 2018
Two weeks later we were still sleeping together…that is we were only sleeping. At this point I became fed up. No matter how hard I tried to get him in the mood my husband did not seem interested in making me a woman. He would rather go to sleep. #DivorceDiaries
— Jaruma Magazine (@jarumamagazine) March 16, 2018
Three months after my wedding and I was still a virgin. My husband was not interested in that part of our marriage though he was a wonderful husband in other areas. #DivorceDiaries
— Jaruma Magazine (@jarumamagazine) March 16, 2018
He was very supportive of my career, he took care of me, he cooked and cleaned up after himself, he made me laugh, he was affectionate but that was the end of it… after a while I gave up trying. #DivorceDiaries
— Jaruma Magazine (@jarumamagazine) March 16, 2018
There were a lot of rumours swirling around our social circles about my husband and his sexual preferences; but every single time he assured me he was working on being a lover I would cherish… eventually he always said. #DivorceDiaries
— Jaruma Magazine (@jarumamagazine) March 16, 2018
The months were followed by a year then 2 years then 3 years and still our marriage remained unconsummated. I did not know what to do next. Friends told me to try and get his attention, to be uninhibited to be sexy blah blah blah. #DivorceDiaries
— Jaruma Magazine (@jarumamagazine) March 16, 2018
I was sick and tired of hearing it was up to me to get my own husband to fulfil my marital rights. I was reaching my breaking point. #DivorceDiaries
— Jaruma Magazine (@jarumamagazine) March 16, 2018
It all became worse with the pressure and questions from our families about why we had not had children yet. How could we have children when we were living like roommates instead of husband and wife? #DivorceDiaries
— Jaruma Magazine (@jarumamagazine) March 16, 2018
I confronted him and he told me he had been molested as a boy and he was working on being sexual for me. My heart went out to him and I left it at that, I prayed for him every day, to overcome his experience. #DivorceDiaries
— Jaruma Magazine (@jarumamagazine) March 16, 2018
One day I went to work and suddenly my period came so I had to rush back home to clean up; as I lived just fifteen minutes away from my office. I walked into my living room to find my husband being sodomised by another man who was on top of him. #DivorceDiaries
— Jaruma Magazine (@jarumamagazine) March 16, 2018
He had sweat beads on his face and his eyes were closed. They did not hear me open the door; neither did they notice me standing directly opposite them. Hamisu opened his eyes. He looked at me and I looked at him. #DivorceDiaries
— Jaruma Magazine (@jarumamagazine) March 16, 2018
He pushed the man off him and that is when I recognised who he was. The man that was sodomising my husband was my father. #DivorceDiaries
— Jaruma Magazine (@jarumamagazine) March 16, 2018
What the hell was my father doing here? With my husband?#DivorceDiaries
— Jaruma Magazine (@jarumamagazine) March 16, 2018
I ran to the kitchen and took my largest knife. The rage inside me was like red hot lava in a volcano and it was threatening to erupt and consume all of us. The betrayal! He would not touch me but he could sleep with my father! #DivorceDiaries
— Jaruma Magazine (@jarumamagazine) March 16, 2018
I was confused about my father, No maybe my mind was playing tricks on me… my father was gone by the time I returned from the kitchen. #DivorceDiaries
— Jaruma Magazine (@jarumamagazine) March 16, 2018
Hamisu was naked and struggling to wear his trousers when I stabbed him, I missed and a chase ensued. I wanted to send him to hell where he belonged. #DivorceDiaries
— Jaruma Magazine (@jarumamagazine) March 16, 2018
Finally, I got his hand; the knife sliced through skin and flesh and came out with blood spraying everywhere staining the white carpet. He groaned in pain: Sadiya!#DivorceDiaries
— Jaruma Magazine (@jarumamagazine) March 16, 2018
I raised the knife again; I wanted to stab him in his heart, just like he had done to me. I wanted to damage him with all the rage inside me. #DivorceDiaries
— Jaruma Magazine (@jarumamagazine) March 16, 2018
He was begging me and I was charging towards him to finish him off when I tripped and fell; the knife slipped away from my hand and in that moment the powerlessness of my situation hit me. #DivorceDiaries
— Jaruma Magazine (@jarumamagazine) March 16, 2018
What could I really do? Who would even believe me? What type of daughter would I be to accuse my father of homosexuality? How could I face my mother with the news that my father and my husband were lovers? Inna Lillahi what could I really do in this situation. #DivorceDiaries
— Jaruma Magazine (@jarumamagazine) March 16, 2018
I broke down; I just crouched and broke down in tears, the blood from my period further staining my white carpet… I did not care, let the carpet stain I thought- as I watched it turn a dirty red colour…#DivorceDiaries
— Jaruma Magazine (@jarumamagazine) March 16, 2018
He crawled towards me, ‘Sadiya I am sorry’ was all he kept saying. I had so many things I wanted to say to him but I just could not open my mouth. It was as if the weight in my heart had pulled my mouth shut. I heard him talk. #DivorceDiaries
— Jaruma Magazine (@jarumamagazine) March 16, 2018
He said he had always been a bottom (other men did it to him), since his days in secondary school. He said a senior boy had taught him and somehow it had become his habit. He said he preferred that to being with a woman. #DivorceDiaries
— Jaruma Magazine (@jarumamagazine) March 16, 2018
‘I really do love you Sadiya, just not in that way you know! When we met you accepted me, without any questions. I love you but I just could not be a lover to you. And I saw that you liked being married to me. I always assumed you knew… #DivorceDiaries
— Jaruma Magazine (@jarumamagazine) March 16, 2018
This was a mistake, it will never happen again. Your father is the senior boy who first molested me back in secondary school. I had not seen him since secondary school until the day I went to greet him before we got married. We rekindled our relationship and… .’ #DivorceDiaries
— Jaruma Magazine (@jarumamagazine) March 16, 2018
I slapped his dirty mouth. How dare he? Three years in a sex less marriage and he had the audacity to tell me he assumed I knew?#DivorceDiaries
— Jaruma Magazine (@jarumamagazine) March 16, 2018
Why would a woman assume her husband was a perverted homo sexual pig? Why? Why did he marry me? He just used me to kill the rumours ko? Shege tsinnanne! #DivorceDiaries
— Jaruma Magazine (@jarumamagazine) March 16, 2018
He continued to talk but I went to the bathroom and cleaned myself up. #DivorceDiaries
— Jaruma Magazine (@jarumamagazine) March 16, 2018
I walked out and drove straight home to my mother. After narrating what happened, my mother held me in her arms and told me she had caught my father several times with different lovers and she had taken it in her stride. #DivorceDiaries
— Jaruma Magazine (@jarumamagazine) March 16, 2018
I could not believe what she was saying. So all this time… my father had been a gay man and my mother knew. Not only did she know but she condoned it! Subhanallah #DivorceDiaries
— Jaruma Magazine (@jarumamagazine) March 16, 2018
The only part of the story that shocked my mother was that he had seduced his son in law. I was beyond disgusted. What on earth? #DivorceDiaries
— Jaruma Magazine (@jarumamagazine) March 16, 2018
All I thought I knew about my parents was a lie. A disgusting lie. I wanted to throw up wallahi. So she had children with him while knowing his true nature? #DivorceDiaries
— Jaruma Magazine (@jarumamagazine) March 16, 2018
According to my mother all I needed was patience. She told me she coped by telling herself it was just a habit like smoking cigarettes. She warned me against causing any scandal and instructed me to go home and take care of my husband like a good wife should. #DivorceDiaries
— Jaruma Magazine (@jarumamagazine) March 16, 2018
She said: ‘in this family, when we get married it is like the Christians, we do it for better and for worse. We do it for life! No daughter of mine will be divorced kin ji ko?’
I felt alone and abandoned. It seemed like everyone I held dear was out to betray me. #DivorceDiaries— Jaruma Magazine (@jarumamagazine) March 16, 2018
No one wanted to be there for me so I drove home, cleaned up my house and waited. He came home late at night with a bandage over his wound. He talked a lot but I did not hear a word. I just looked at him and wondered what else he was hiding. #DivorceDiaries
— Jaruma Magazine (@jarumamagazine) March 16, 2018
That night I could not sleep. What was I going to do? I had cried gallons of tears and still I was hurting. The tears did not cool the raging fire within me. I was so angry! #DivorceDiaries
— Jaruma Magazine (@jarumamagazine) March 16, 2018
A week later, I still did not know how I was going to leave my husband. I could not pretend that things were normal between us. I was all cried out. #DivorceDiaries
— Jaruma Magazine (@jarumamagazine) March 16, 2018
So I decided to take my life. It was the best possible outcome. If I killed myself then no would ever find out about the shame in my family. #DivorceDiaries
— Jaruma Magazine (@jarumamagazine) March 16, 2018
At night, I took a knife and started to slit my wrists until I passed out. I thought I had died but I woke up in a hospital with Hamisu and my mother by my side. #DivorceDiaries
— Jaruma Magazine (@jarumamagazine) March 16, 2018
He had found me bleeding out on the floor of the kitchen. I was angry I did not succeed in taking my own life. I ended up staying in the hospital for a week and Hamisu was the ever dutiful husband. #DivorceDiaries
— Jaruma Magazine (@jarumamagazine) March 16, 2018
Everyone called me ungrateful for wanting to end my life despite having such a devoted husband… what more did I want in life; they all asked me. I wish they could know what I had been going through. #DivorceDiaries
— Jaruma Magazine (@jarumamagazine) March 16, 2018
Once I felt better, I told him I wanted him to divorce me. I told him if he refused I would go to court and tell the alkali (judge) everything. I had nothing to lose. #DivorceDiaries
— Jaruma Magazine (@jarumamagazine) March 16, 2018
I just wanted to be away from him, from my parents, from everyone that said I was an ungrateful wife. I wish could put themselves in my shoes. #DivorceDiaries
— Jaruma Magazine (@jarumamagazine) March 16, 2018
He divorced me. It has been a year and I just recently moved into my own house. I do not want anything to do with my parents. I still have suicidal thoughts every now and then. #DivorceDiaries
— Jaruma Magazine (@jarumamagazine) March 16, 2018
Hamisu has remarried and I pitied the poor girl when I saw their pictures on Instagram. I wondered if she would ever find out. I wonder if she will be patient with him. That patience is what landed me in the hell I found myself in. #DivorceDiaries
— Jaruma Magazine (@jarumamagazine) March 16, 2018
I should have known that something was not right from our first night together. I should have said something, I should have left him. But no, I wanted to be a good wife. #DivorceDiaries
— Jaruma Magazine (@jarumamagazine) March 16, 2018
I cannot trust a man again. I do not wish to marry again. For now, what is important to me is making as much money to take care of myself without needing anyone. #DivorceDiaries
— Jaruma Magazine (@jarumamagazine) March 16, 2018
People always say that time heals all wounds so I have hope of being normal some day. Thank you for reading my story.
#DivorceDiaries— Jaruma Magazine (@jarumamagazine) March 16, 2018
